I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
