So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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