He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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