My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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