he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
