Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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