i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
