My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
