You're so nebulous sometimes
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
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No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
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The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
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