Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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