She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize