when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
My underwear smells like fireworks.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
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