Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
