She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
