so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Less talking, more tequila
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
