My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
