I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
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