need another drink. this is the easiest way
I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
