Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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