I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I'm at about main and main street
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
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