So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Randomize
