Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
