i permit you to call me
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize