and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize