be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Randomize
