I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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