How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
