Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
