Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
