we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
