Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
