thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
