if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
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