I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Who died my cat blue again?
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
