He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
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