to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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