He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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