Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
