the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Randomize