i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
