Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
