dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
