bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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