His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
The struggles of a small town man whore
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
