so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Success! We fucked roommates!
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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