So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
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