Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
