We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
