I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
