I'm going to jail i love you
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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