do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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