I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
