love makes seman taste better
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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