My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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