She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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