Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
