how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize