I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Randomize
