she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Just puked most of my soul out..
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