can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
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