dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Randomize
