Why does Corona taste like a burp?
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Bring me that man meat
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
